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Thursday, March 30th, 2006
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10:11 pm
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something happened last night. not sure what, but it feels like something ended. weird.
i've gained a lot of weight since i started working in food services.
i really do believe the last two sentences are connected.
today was really great.
it was the first really warm day here in awhile.
it has been unseasonably cold and really unpleasant.
something about the weather makes everyone happier.
me, matt, alec, marcie, and john went to the batting cages tonight.
it was so much fun, i could go every day.
and i rode on the back of john's motorcycle to dinner. another big step for me. baby steps. ya know.
franklin and i got into a huge sugar packet war at dinner. it was the most infantile thing i've been a part of in a long time. im covered in sugar. its gross.
im in such a great mood right now. going out tonight.
i have so much to do tomorrow, and i have to be at work at 1.
zach is driving in for formal tomorrow. i have to clean up and get a dress and all sorts of stuff. great.
current music: montgomery gentry "gone"
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| Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
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2:32 am
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im in trouble. probably the most trouble i've ever been. lets see if anya can pull her shit together long enough to get out of this mess.
i have a job now, i've been working like 30-35 hours a week, and trying to keep up in school. i dont sleep or party or eat (thats a lie) and im a much happier person, now that im making money and not wasting away in my apartment all the time.
im gonna miss this apartment. but im so excited for next year. tamara, josh, and i are getting a house. i think we need to find a 4th...there's still time.
im probably the most comfortable with my body than i've ever been. i just stopped caring. kind of. half the time. oh wow. here goes.
i pierced my lip. i'll have to take it out because...
i fly into new york sunday afternoon.
i wasnt supposed to go home. ITS COLD THERE. its really lovely and springy here. i love atlanta in the spring. its so amazing.
i have a lot of papers to write before i go home, and im kind of looking forward to it. i dont have to work at all this week and its gonna be nice to pretend im in college again.
there's no point to this, i need to go to bed bed bed.
xo
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| Friday, January 6th, 2006
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9:40 pm
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i woke up today on a couch in brooklyn with a dog licking my face.
the day has kind of gone since there.
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| Saturday, December 24th, 2005
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11:26 pm
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Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?
-audioslave
this chunk of lyrics makes me feel okay about dealing with my life the way i want to deal with it, and not like everyone wants me to deal with it.
so im home. i wasn't supposed to come home. but the idea of not being in edgemont burned me from the inside. edgemont will always be my heart and soul and i need to work on carving my own identity in a new place (ATL) while never losing my past. each step is just as important.
reconnecting bridges: so hot right now...
everytime i come home there's a surprise cameo from my past. it's a fun game to play, and a reminder that im not the only one growing up. of course, with me i never make anything that starts healthy end healthy. so seeing people from my past is generally ineffective, i need to work on that.
HORRIFIED--
i cant believe a certain someone from my past has a girlfriend. i didnt think that would ever happen. correction: it was my biggest fear that it would actually happen. i had a feeling. an era of much importance to me, and little to anyone else has officially ended. elvis has left the building. the fat woman has sung.
irish christmas
this is the first time since last october that i havent thought of you-know-who as the end all be all of my life. he's not my male counterpart, i hold absolutely no role in his life. am i totally done with this? NO. but i can say for the first time I AM CONFIDENTLY getting there.
i still need him in some way, but he needs me too. its more mutual now.
life keeps getting weirder with time.
i'll be in new york til january 15th.
y'all know where to find me.
current mood: complacent
current music: bing crosby
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| Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
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5:43 pm - year in review
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first sentence of first post of every month. this really does sum it up pretty well.
january--
so im getting a car.
february--
(there wasnt anything for this month...wow, times are finally changing!)
march--
1) Using band names, spell out your name.
Alice in chains
Nirvana
Yeah yeah yeahs (i hate them, but hmmmm whatever)
Ace of base
april--
my dad has always been my hero.
may--
im getting attached.
june--
tams and i put the country mix on in the car on the drive back from the city tonight for the sole purpose of annoying the hell out of adam.
july--
tonight was amazing.
when did my boys get so smart?
august--
words of wisdom...
adriana: "but if you weren't completely inappropriate, you wouldnt be anya. you'd lose a lot of yr charm"
september--
(again nothing...sooooo strange)
october--
the hunt for october.
november--
i went crowd surfing for the first time ever on halloween.
december--
so my dad agreed to it today...next year on my dad's birthday (july 4th) he and i will be running in the peachtree road race!
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| Monday, December 5th, 2005
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1:55 am
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so my dad agreed to it today...next year on my dad's birthday (july 4th) he and i will be running in the peachtree road race! 6.2 miles. my fat ass will have to get in shape just to keep up with my dad...that's the most pathetic thing ever, but 6.2 miles is extremely doable! i am so excited for this, i hope dad is serious, because i certainly am.
finals are coming up, and the next few weeks are not going to be fun, but like always i will get through them (of course there will be some whining and freaking out in the process), but hopefully i will do well and regardless of how i do i'll be happy when they're done.
then i can head back home (which i said i was never going to do again, i'll get to that later) for a very short break. it will be nice to see people again, work at williams-sonoma for a little while for some extra cash, and hopefully have good new years plans.
about going back home...thanksgiving was surprisingly amazing. my friends from home are so great, i've been nothing but sad about my college situation since i've been back. that friday at the comedy club was great. i couldn't ask for better friends.
i become very content with my situation quickly (which in some ways is a good thing) but going back and forth between school and short vacations only confused me. i think the official census is, no matter how things are in atlanta...what really keeps me here is the city. friends if they're that good, will stay with you no matter where you are.
right now i think everybody needs to grow the fuck up a little bit and get the fuck off my back. im losing my mind and my stomach hurts in that scared all too familiar high school feeling.
til the next...
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
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8:05 pm - im kind of loving this...but im gonna get dumb depressed when nobody responds
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especially people who i dont know very well/dont see you very often, im interested in random memories
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. Come on, just do it.
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or
mortified) about what people remember about you.
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
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1:43 pm
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i went crowd surfing for the first time ever on halloween. melissa dragged me to see coheed and cambria. she just really wanted to see dredg, and i like free tickets. although its weird for me to go to shows like coheed without tamara. tammy is totally my college security blanket.
but my point...im breaking free of the shackles of my paranoid existence!
crowd surfing may not be a big deal to anyone else but i have always been terrified of it.
first the tongue ring, then the skydiving, then the crowd surfing, then tamara and i hitchhiked in atlanta (not wise) friday night.
i might even be ready for roller coasters in the spring.
im incredibly proud of myself.
i can't really tell how this semester is going. i finally feel like im on track. i love all the people in my major, its small and wonderful and everybody is great. i really am not sure how my grades are, but i wish that didnt make a difference. this semester has been so beneficial to me in so many other ways.
i'll be home for thanksgiving but im not coming home for winter break. or spring break. or summer. or ever i guess. home is too hard. and new york will always be there for me. i may not always feel like i belong at emory, but i really love atlanta.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
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7:02 pm - fuck
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| Friday, October 7th, 2005
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1:07 am
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1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by? nirvana or the chili peppers
2. What was the last song you listened to? im listening to journey right now with the girls
3. What's in your CD player right now? Woody Guthrie - smashing pumpkins-melloncollie
4. What song would you say sums you up? beverly hills- weezer
5. What's your favorite local band? mur...in atlanta? i dont know. i should.
6. What was the last show you attended? The gossip
7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to? pearl jam and sonic youth
8. What's the worst band you've ever seen in concert? box car racer (dont ask)
9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of? u2?
10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been? not much
11. What show are you looking forward to? i really want to go see the dandy warhols next month
12. What is your favorite band shirt? sonic youth washing machine
13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? evan dando or john frusciante
14. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day? see above
15. Metal question - Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes? i dont know what that means...but im gonna go with jeans and leather
16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy? sabbath, obvs.
17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie? bleh
18. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal? punk rock
19. Doesn't Primus suck? a lot.
20. Name 5 flawless albums: red hot chili peppers-blood sugar sex magik the lemonheads-its a shame about ray coldplay-parachutes ryan adams-gold pearl jam-vs.
21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek? yes
22. What was the greatest decade for music? the 90s!
23. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own? i think just alice in chains-music bank and red hot chili peppers-FUNKY MONKEYS
24. Do you like Journey? see question 2.
25. Don't try to pretend you don't! didnt!
26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? singles
27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up? i dunno
28. What's the crappiest CD/record/etc. you've ever bought? blink 182?
29. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs? cds...sorry
30. All totaled, how much do you spend on music a month? not much anymore
31. Duet You wish would happen? hmmmm...
32. Best Mix Tape/ CD? my captain random mix, the saw mix, or my rhapsody mix spring '05
33. Band or artist you can't believe isn't more famous/ recognized? ryan adams
34. Most Overrated? anything found on the garden state soundtrack
36. Best Radio Station? 99x.
37. Guilty Pleasure music? britney spears
38. What kind of music do (did) your parents listen to? the beatles and the rolling stones. thats about it.
39. Best Place to see live music? new orleans
40. Best Free show you have seen? ben kweller at south street seaport
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| Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
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4:40 pm
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the hunt for october. last game of the season. at this point this game is stupid. both the yankees and the red sox are in the playoffs. the red sox by default cannot have home field advantage because they are the wild card team, so basically we're playing this one out to see if the yankees or the angels will have home field advantage in the division series.
this game is really stupid, but its the last game of the regular season and i feel obligated to watch. i love october.
i wish it was cooler here. october means starbucks outside in the chilly fall air and YANKEES BASEBALL. it still feels like summer here.
eric henken took my van seats. he is not to be trusted. i think he is satan. who steals van seats? ridiculous. i threatened to call the cops on him. im getting my seats back.
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| Friday, August 19th, 2005
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11:18 am
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last day of work is passing by quickly.
i guess it's time to give back everyone's stuff.
im beginning to feel like bill from newsradio.
this next week better be good.
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| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
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9:58 am
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with less than 2 weeks left in new york, everybody wants to hang out. figures.
well, i have a bottle of jack daniels, who wants to party??
my hair is huge today. huge. this could be funny.
im done with work on friday. THANK GOD. i've had enough. you know, if they actually ever gave me something to do, i could be quite useful around this office. im just itching for menial office tasks, it's absurd.
i was supposed to lose weight this summer. instead i gained back everything i lost over the school year and then some. yuuuuuuuck. now i get to go back a fatty.
today's the day, today's the day...
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| Saturday, August 6th, 2005
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7:57 pm
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i jumped out of a plane today. holy crap!
i loved and hated every minute of it. i will never do it again.
skydiving is so far out of my character, it's really unbelievable.
im really proud of myself.
fuck it, even my parents are proud of me.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 4th, 2005
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4:45 pm
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i wore mardi gras beads to work. yes i did. just one string of them, but still.
how the fuck did i not know that evan dando was at music midtown???????
@#$%^&*(*%^&
i would have killed to have been there.
gahhhhhhh
i left my cell phone at home today. i hate leaving my cell phone at home. especially when there is a lot that needed to be taken care of today!
i miss my hildie. i hope our friendship is still intact when we get back to atlanta.
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| Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
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1:50 pm
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my birthday was insane. rather, i was insane. but of what i can remember, i had a good time and i was really happy that everyone who was there was there. it was very nice.
my anniversary of my actual day of birth was spent nursing a most killer hangover and watching season 3 of ER on dvd with naureen and my sister.
i found a black 95 range rover for $9500. the engine was just replaced. i think its definitely something to look into. only problem is it's being sold privately which i know my dad wont like. oh well.
i think it's actually older than a 95. i dont know what sort of crack the seller is smoking.
im gonna ask conor to come check out this car with me.
my dad is going to bermuda next week for "business", and arch is flying him on the PRIVATE JET.
he tries to act otherwise, but joe is such a pimp.
i want to end work already and buy lots of furniture and go back to atlanta and just play (no classes!)
although in a weird way, im ready to take classes again too.
i need to be smart this semester.
famous last words.
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005
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3:45 pm - happy birthday to me?
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words of wisdom...
adriana: "but if you weren't completely inappropriate, you wouldnt be anya. you'd lose a lot of yr charm"
so there. thats my excuse.
ice cream cake all week.
skydiving on saturday!
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| Monday, July 25th, 2005
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9:50 am - bored at work, bored at work
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75 questions
Repost this but tell the truth
What have YOU done... BE TRUTHFUL!!!
1. smoked a cigarette -yes
2. smoked a cigar - yes, i actually had a cigar on saturday with the guys
3. kissed a member of the same sex - yes
4. crashed a friend's car - actually yes
5. stolen a car - no
6. been in love - no
7. been dumped - i suppose
8. shoplifted - i took an orange juice once from a bagel shop and i havent regretted anything so much in my entire life
9. been fired - no
10. been in a fist fight - i wish
11. snuck out of ur house -oh yes, more times than i can count
12. had feelings for someone who didnt have them back? but of course
13. been arrested - hehe no
14. made out with a stranger - yes
15. gone on a blind date- pretty much, yeah. AWFUL.
16. lied to a friend - yes and anybody who says they havent is lying to themselves
17. thought a teacher was hott? not hot, but definitely sexy in that intellectual way
18. skipped school? hmmmm yeah
19. slept with a co-worker - no
20. seen someone die - no
21. been on a plane - yes
22. thrown up in a bar - in the bathroom at a bar. CJ's landing...what a night
23. taken painkillers - perscription? only once...funny story
24. love someone or miss someone right now- loving and missing are two entirely different things
25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by -yeah when we would get high at greenville back in the day
26. made a snow angel - yes
27. played dress up - yes
28. cheated while playing a game - hehe yeah
29. been lonely - duhhhhhhhhh
30. fallen asleep at school? yes
31. used a fake id - yep
32. felt an earthquake - no
33. touched a snake? - when i was a little kid
34. ran a red light - i try not to...it throws off the balance of my world
35. been suspended from school- no
36. had detention - senior year i had detention all the time...i just never went
37. been in a car accident .. ummmm yeah, what a miserable day that was
38. hated the way you look - always and forever
39. witnessed a crime - no
40. pole danced - in savannah...long story
41. been lost - yes. i refuse to ask for directions unless im really desperate
42. been to the opposite side of the country - briefly
43. felt like dying - everyone has their moments
44. cried yourself to sleep- yes
45. played cops and robbers - when i was little...good stuff
46. karaoke - hell yes...trackside tavern on thursdays!
47. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - "fine, i'll have his baby but im not raising it"
48. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - no
49. caught a snowflake on your tongue - yes
50. kissed in the rain - oh how cheesy...yes i have
51. sing in the shower - occasionally
52. made love in a park - no
53. had a dream that you married someone - no
54. glued your hand to something - no
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - never
56. worn the opposite sex's clothes - yes
57. been a cheerleader - no
58. sat on a roof top - yeah even though i am terrified of heights. i saw fireworks from a rooftop earlier this summer
59. didn't take a shower for a week - yes and that week included a weekend in new orleans...im not usually that grody though
60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone- no, but im a huge fan of scary movies
61. played chicken?- no
62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - not pushed, but i've been in a pool with all my clothes and my life was threatened! not a joke...
63. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - yeah who hasnt?
64. broken a bone - broke my elbow in the third grade
65. been easily amused - always
66. laugh so hard you cry- yeah
67. mooned/flashed someone - i need to stop flashing people
68. Cheated on a test - not really
69. forgotten someone's name - it has happened, but i hate doing that
70. slept naked - yeah
71. gone skinny dipping in a pool - yeah...almost got arrested in march at tamara's pool, funniest night ever
72. been kicked out of your house - no
73. blacked out from drinking - mmmm yes i have
74. played a prank on someone - i've tried
75. played poker - yes!
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 22nd, 2005
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6:37 pm
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i just want to find a guy who can fix my car.
and maybe teach me how to drive stick.
my birthday really makes me wish i was never born.
i know how dumb that sounds, but it's true.
i stress over it so much and nobody cares.
it looks like skydiving isn't happening. fuck everybody ever.
i am a leo and i need to the center of attention and GODDAMNIT RESPECT ME.
i hate what relationships do to people. i never want to be one of those losers.
tamara actually hung up on me last night because her boyfriend called while she and i were on the phone and she was worried that he would hear the call waiting beep.
ummmmm what????????
my job is the absolute greatest thing ever. i get paid a lot to do virtually nothing. my boss reminded me that the summer is not about thinking. its about "stamping and stapling, but not thinking". these people are so lax. i love the corporate world.
i really want to my sister to go to college in georgia so i can protect her forever. i dont know where she gets off running around like she's cooler than me.
there are a number of people who owe me a lot. whatever happened to people giving credit where credit is due? i dont know anymore.
i really just want my birthday to come and go...this is going to plague me all summer.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 17th, 2005
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9:57 pm
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this weekend was completely sinful. it was fucking awesome.
i wish i knew how to say everything i want to say.
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